Hello, my name is Lolly,
I’m a woman of age now, but I’m still bothered occasionally over having a rather heartbreaking long-term toxic relationship with an only sister who is a year younger. I’ve broken contact with her out of self-preservation and because of continued problems!
Undoubtedly, we both have “issues” and or personality disorders. I’ve attended years of therapy and have read many self-help books regarding healing. I am disappointed that professionals were of little help regarding my sorely needed healing process. I haven’t been able to connect with any one that can understand the nature of my suffering. Our parents (now deceased) actually enabled the sibling rivalry, playing favorites between us. Other siblings exacerbated the issues by their indifferent non-empathetic attitudes. Trauma episodes impacted within and I’ve carried a heavy lifelong burden alone, with no one to scream in my corner so to speak.
I recently searched for data about a gruesome murder committed by a distant family member which seemed to have triggered flash-backs of the trauma between my sister and I. I experienced an outbreak of anger over all this and have come to the realization once again I cannot expect anyone else to understand. I think this scenario has added to my problem with self-harm which is a volume of it’s own. I believe in a Higher Power which perhaps is my only hope.
I may post again and I can supply more details if needed. Please feel free to post and share things you find relative. If you have or are experiencing similar pain and loss issues, I empathize with you. I am new at blogging but desire to reach-out. Thank you for reading!